Celebrate 2008: The Year of the Pussy!

Photo courtesy Haley Studio

I have declared 2008 The Year of the Pussy. No, not pussy like, "Meow," but pussy like "ME-YOWZA!" This is the year to pay attention to what actually makes us happy "down there."

There is history to this declaration. About six months ago, I began a process of changing my posture and alignment. An offshoot of changing the way that I sit and stand is that, when sitting, I roll my pelvis farther forward so that I can sit up straight, which consequently places more pressure than I am used to on my genitals. Now, I've always been a jeans and T-shirts kind of gal, but many of you already know that the seam in a pair of jeans can put quite a bit of pressure on a pussy if you're sitting completely upright. Needless to say, my cunt was NOT happy. It was starting to get numbed out, irritable, and just plain resentful. I decided that it was time to make a change--or, in fact, a bunch of changes--that started with my wardrobe and haven't stopped yet.

This year, if you have a pussy (whether anatomical or fantasy) I encourage you to explore what brings it pleasure and satisfaction. I'm not talking about investigating what your brain thinks your pussy should feel--I'm talking about noticing the subtle and not-so-subtle tactile stimulation that your genitals feel all day. If you don't have a pussy, don't feel bad--you can celebrate the Year of the Pussy by asking someone who DOES have one what you can do give hers/hirs pleasure. Here are some things that feel good for me and for other people-with-pussies I've talked to:

• Dress for pussy satisfaction. The jeans just weren't working for me, but I found that my pussy really loves wearing skirts and dresses. There's no seam to irritate it, plus all that air flows up there! As you're shopping for clothes or trying on the things in your closet pay attention to how your pussy feels about what you're wearing in sitting, standing, and moving. Your pussy might prefer silk pants or a burlap sack. Try giving it what it wants.

• Speaking of dressing, what sort of panties does your pussy like? Does your cunt prefer all cotton bikinis, your boyfriend's underwear, a lace thong, or maybe some satin or silk? Perhaps your pussy prefers not wearing any panties at all (especially if you're wearing a skirt--WhooHoo!).

• Experiment with different sensations. Your pussy might like the way it feels when a light breeze brushes against it. It might enjoy the feeling of water from a shower head, bathtub, hot tub or swimming pool jet, or mountain stream flowing against it. It might like a vibrator, a dildo, or your lover's tongue. (And have your lover experiment with different ways to use his/her/hir tongue, too.) It might enjoy your sitting on top of the washing machine or clothes dryer or going out dancing. It might love the surprise titillation it gets when you've set your cell phone on vibrate and left it in a deep pocket. Maybe yours will like the stimulation it gets when your car or motorcycle accelerates on the highway. Some cunts, I've heard, are ever so happy with piercings that stimulate them all the time. Yours might like being tickled, teased, or having its hair tugged. And don't forget, there is more to your pussy than your clitoris!...though your clitoris, of course, will have opinions, too.

• Give your pussy a break from the goal of orgasm. Orgasms are AWESOME, but there's more to life than the Big O. When you masturbate or have sex with a lover notice what happens when you focus on pleasure or satisfaction rather than orgasm. Your pussy might just teach you something.

• Talk about it! Pussies can be sources of pleasure, pain, satisfaction, dissatisfaction, embarrassment, shame, delight, pride, illness, health, sadness and joy. I promise, no matter what emotions you feel about your genitals, you are not alone. Talk to your friends, an educator, or a sex therapist. Join a discussion group, online forum or workshop.

• Pay attention to where and how you sit. How does your pussy feel when you sit on a hard bench? A cushy couch? Mine loves the tingly feeling it gets while sitting on a Balance Ball Chair , and it enjoys having a break from any stimulation at all while sitting on a kneeling chair.

• Squeeze and wiggle your pelvic floor (aka Kegel exercises): perhaps you've heard how good these are for increasing muscle tone, but they should also FEEL good to your pussy. In fact, I no longer think of these as "exercise" at all; I think of them as a way to entertain myself while I'm standing in line at a grocery store. And if people wonder why I'm smiling all the time, well, that's just fine.

• Use your other senses! Find out what you can do with your eyes, ears, nose, and mouth that makes your pussy happy. Does your pussy like looking at porn or reading erotica? Does it feel happy when you go out and unobtrusively people-watch? Perhaps it likes being photographed or enjoys it when you take out a mirror to examine it. My husband's sexy scent goes straight in my nose and down to my pussy, making it dance with glee. You might find that certain foods or the taste of your lover might send a rush of pleasure straight downstairs.

• To shave or not to shave? How about letting your cunt rather than a lover or the current fashion answer that question? Some pussies much prefer to be shaved; others revel in the sensations they get to enjoy when all of their hair is grown in.

• How do you you treat your pussy when it's bleeding? Experiment with different props for menstruation. Your cunt might prefer Reusable, fabric Menstrual Pads, pads, bleach-free tampons, reusable sea sponges, or Menstrual Cups. If you've been doing the same thing year after year, try some new options and ask your pussy what it thinks. You might find that you desires for convenience, political and environmental responsibility, and physical pussy-happiness might, in some cases, conflict. That's ok--just notice. (Note: if you use Glad Rags or other washable pads and happen to be prone to yeast infections, take care to wash your pads on hot, at least every once in a while. Cold water gets out the blood, but hot kills the yeast. If you are washing only on cold you will likely reinfect yourself.)
  

• Having safer sex? One way to make sure your pussy stays happy is to make sure it stays healthy. If you're having sex, make sure you're tested for sexually transmitted infections. If you're having non-monogamous sex, make sure you use barriers when you need to. Pay attention, though, to which barriers and birth control devices make your pussy feel happy. Does your pussy like latex, or does it prefer polyurethane? Does it enjoy using a lubricant? If so, which kind? For some people, glycerin in lubes may lead to yeast infections, which pussies generally do not like very much. Some cunts HATE spermicides and will break out in a rash to show it.
  

• Celebrate your pussy and those of others! Read Cunt: A Declaration of Independence, by Inga Muscio. Watch The Vagina Monologues, The Best of Vulva Massage, or Zen Pussy. Check out some Georgia O'Keefe paintings. Take a Tantra class. Read my friend Kiki's awesome blog, Sexual integration and Free Association. Find out what other people have done to find joy and beauty in their own and others' pussies.

• What about pain? Maybe your cunt prefers pain to pleasure, either sometimes or most of the time. Try some safe-and-sane BDSM (Bondage/Discipline, Sado-Mashochism, Dominance/Submission) sensation play.

I hope you will join with me in giving your cunt and/or someone else's what it longs for in 2008: The Year of the Pussy. Please comment to let me know what it is YOU do do to please a pussy! And if you see me out with a big ol' grin on my face, you will know why.

Have an oh-so Happy, Tingly, Juicy New Year! Meow!